Saturday, April 6, 2013
I've always said that if you're going to watch pro wrestling, it helps to be either drunk or on something. So if you're looking to add a little more excitement to your Wrasslemania 29 party this Sunday, I've got you covered.
Presenting: The 29 Drinking Rules for Wrestlemania 29!
1) Drink for all 2 counts.
2) 3 second drink for a 3 count.
3) The Hogan vs. Andre Rule: Drink for a classic body slam.
4) The Ric Flair Rule: Drink for foul play (grabbing the tights, feet on the ropes, thumb to the eye, weapons, interference, anything Flair would do).
5) Drink if someone executes their finishing move (or their opponent's).
6) Do a shot for a new champion.
7) Do a shot if someone gets slammed through the announce table.
8) Do a shot if someone turns heel or face. Double shot if Cena turns heel.
9) Waterfall for any bloodshed.
10) The Macho Man Memorial Rule: Drink for outrageous ring gear.
11) Drink for a botch.
12) Drink for all top rope moves.
13) Drink for all DDTs.
14) Drink every time someone smashes into the ring post or ring steps.
15) Drink for a ref bump.
16) Drink for pyrotechnics.
17) Drink for a celebrity guest.
18) Drink for old wrestlers.
19) Waterfall for a shitty backstage comedy bit.
20) Waterfall for a live musical performance.
21) The Edge's Tears Memorial Rule: Do a shot if one of the WWE Hall of Fame inductees cries.
22) Drink for any Wrestlemania cliche uttered by the commentary team ("The Grandest Stage/Grandaddy of Them All," "The Showcase of the Immortals," "Bigger than the Superbowl," etc.).
23) Do a shot if Vince McMahon makes an appearance.
24) Do a shot if JR makes an appearance.
25) Do a shot if Brock Lesnar breaks someone's arm.
26) Drink for racism.
27) Drink if the New York crowd resorts to vulgarity.
28) Waterfall if it starts raining or snowing during the show.
29) Drugs must be done during CM Punk's entrance (If you don't do drugs, do a shot).
Follow these rules and you'll probably be blackout drunk before the main event. Because who wants to remember shelling out 70 bucks for pro wrestling, right? Enjoy!